


I’ll be Here

by lillian_spero



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, I don’t think I missed anything but if I did sorry, Klance (if you squint), Lance needs some love, M/M, Major Character Injury, Not really super violent but just in case, Panic Attacks, Protective Blue Lion, im sorry, paladins as a family, protective red lion, this is just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22868260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillian_spero/pseuds/lillian_spero
Summary: 5 times Lance is hurt +1 time he isn’t.This is super angsty and my first like actual fic so I’m sorry if it isn’t super great I tried. I hope people like it though cause I’m pretty proud of it.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 86





	I’ll be Here

**Author's Note:**

> To anyone who doesn’t read the tags, this one is all angst. I mean there’s some comfort but just be warned, it’s sad.

**1.**

Lance rolled over with a long sigh. He opened his eyes and stared at the wall he faced. He huffed and brought the blanket back up to his face. He shut his eyes again, only to roll over onto his back. Groaning from frustration, he ripped off the headphones and threw them down on the bed. He looked at the clock.

**Earth Time: 2:30 am.**

“This is stupid,” he muttered to himself. He got up with another groan and rolled out of his bed. He walked across the room and out his door. He stared down the hall for a second before deciding to go to the observatory. 

He walked silently through the halls, looking up and down each one before entering into it. He finally reached the observatory and as quietly as possible, opened the door and stepped in. He sat down on the cold floor and looked at the expansive space in front of him.

A pang of sadness struck his chest. It looked just like the space pictures he would stare at longingly for hours. He would sit on his bed, flipping through books and scrolling through images on his computer. When he was younger, he dreamed of being out there in space. He had always wondered what the stars would look like once he got there.

Now he wished he hadn’t wondered.

He missed home. He missed the beach. He missed the feeling of warm, almost too hot sand underneath his feet. He missed his Mama chastising him and his siblings for fighting. He missed her warm and comforting hugs. He missed his family, so, so much.

“Lance?” 

Lance whipped around and stared at the person, suddenly appearing. The door slid shut as Shiro walked further into the room. Lance blinked a few times before jumping up.

“Shiro! Hey! What’re you doing up so late?” Lance asked quickly and loudly. It took him another second to realize he had tears leaking out of his eyes. He quickly wiped them away, but not quickly enough.

“Lance are you okay?” Shiro asked gently. Lance stared at him for a moment before replying,

“I’m fine.” Shiro narrowed his gaze.

“Then why are you sitting in a cold dark room all by yourself at 3 in the morning?” Shiro said. Lance shrugged.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“And why couldn’t you sleep?” 

“I don’t know man, stop asking questions!” Lance wrapped his arms around himself defensively and stared at his feet. Shiro sighed and sat down.

“Alright, I’ll join you then.” Lance stood there for a moment, debating whether he should make a run for it or sit down. Relenting, he sat down. They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.

“Why are you awake?” Lance asked quietly. Shiro glanced at him.

“Nightmares.”

“Oh.” Lance shifted uncomfortably, unsure where to go with that. Should he ask what they were about? Is it okay to ask someone what their nightmares are about? Would recalling them force them to freak out? Before Lance could further question himself, Shiro continued.

“I used to get them a lot. Especially at the beginning of Voltron. I would have them every night and wake up, unable to go back to sleep. Now it’s not so bad. I usually wake up feeling more uncomfortable than anything so I go on a walk to clear my head and go back to sleep.”

“So why are you still awake?” Shiro looked back at Lance and smiled.

“I felt like I should come here.” Shiro turned back to look through the wide windows. Lance stared at Shiro for a moment, guilt restricting his chest. He looked down at his hand and sighed.

“Sorry,” He said, voice barely above a whisper but managing to echo throughout the room.

“What for?” Shiro asked, just as quietly.

“I don’t know. Being the reason you’re still awake? Annoying everyone with all my unwanted jokes and pick-up lines? I don’t even know anymore. I’m just sorry.” Lance wrapped his arms around his knees.

“What’s bothering you, Lance?” Shiro put a hand on his shoulder. Lance stared at his feet before sighing.

“Do you know how long we’ve been here?” He whispered.

“A few months?”

“A year. A year, Shiro. We’ve been stuck floating in outer space for a year. We haven’t seen our families in a year,” Lance took a stuttering breath and continued. “We haven’t seen anything familiar in a year! And it’s just so hard to  _ breathe _ sometimes knowing there’s a possibility I won’t get the chance to see any of it again! I can’t just keep living like this. I feel so empty and cold inside and everything I’ve done just makes me feel even worse. I’m just so tired of trying to be happy. I can’t keep living like this Shiro. I just can’t.”

Shiro stared at him, his eyes wide as Lance whispered the last part. Tears began streaming from Lance’s eyes as he continued to speak. Lance sniffed and wiped his eyes again. He was hugging his knees as he stared at the ground, fighting the tears. Shiro sighed and put an arm around Lance.

“I’m sorry you’ve been alone with these thoughts. I promise I’ll do anything I can to help you. If you aren’t able to sleep, come find me. I’m up most nights. You can talk to me and I’ll listen.” Shiro promised. Lance nodded his head, not trusting his voice. He stopped fighting the tears and allowed them to run down his face. Shiro didn’t say anything else, simply rubbed his back as Lance broke down on the floor of the observatory.

~~~

When Lance woke up the next morning, the first thing he noticed was that he was in his room. The second thing he noticed was his face felt grimy and his hands clammy. His back was sore and his eyes felt like they were rubbed raw. 

He sat up and walked into his bathroom. He threw water on his face and washed his hands. He quickly used the bathroom, brushed his teeth and combed through his hair. He left his room and headed for the kitchen where he ran into Shiro. He suddenly remembered what had happened the night before and felt extremely embarrassed. 

“Good morning Lance,” Shiro greeted. 

“Morning,” Lance muttered. He grabbed a plate and began looking through the fridge to see if there were any of Hunk’s leftovers. He jumped when he felt Shiro’s hand on his shoulder.

“Are you feeling a little better?” Shiro asked quietly. Lance put the plate down and smiled at Shiro.

“Yeah, a little. I guess I needed a really good cry.” Lance replied. Shiro smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

“I’m glad. Let me know if you need to talk to someone. I’m here for you Lance.” Shiro reminded him. Lance nodded his head and went back to get his food. He appreciated Shiro’s offer but he knew he wouldn’t take it up.

He could handle it on his own. His problems were his own and no one else’s. No one should have to put up with them. Besides, if he couldn’t deal with his own issues how did others expect him to be a Paladin?

He had to deal with them on his own.

It was the only way.

**2.**

The mission was simple. The team split up in groups, Pidge, Lance, and Keith going to collect the important data they had reports of while Hunk and Shiro went to see if there were any prisoners on the ship. 

Surprisingly, it was going well. Things don’t typically go well.

There weren’t many sentries to fight on their way to the control room and Lance was able to quickly take care of them. They were currently waiting while Pidge hacked the system and downloaded the data. Keith stood at the door, occasionally peeking down the hallways to see if any Galra were heading their way.

It was quiet until Shiro’s voice broke the silence. “Pidge! How’s it going?” Pidge groaned.

“It’s taking a really long time to download. I think something is trying to block my program but I’m bypassing it!” She replied. Lance paced back and forth, fighting the uncomfortable feeling of the  **wrongness** of the situation.

“I don’t have a good feeling about this you guys.” He finally said after Keith checked again and came up with empty hallways.

“Why?” Hunk asked. 

“How many sentries and guards have you run into?” Lance asked.

“Not many. Although that’s to be expected. We haven’t found any prisoners yet and we’re almost done checking the cells.” Shiro responded.

“We’ve only run into a few of them but we were able to take them down really easily. They know we’re here. If the information is really that important, why aren’t they trying to stop us?” Lance pointed out. The coms were silent for a moment before Shiro said,

“Pidge see if you can speed that up. We’re coming to meet you guys. The cells are empty.” 

“Got it.” Pidge pulled up her screen and started typing even faster. Lance walked over to Keith and glanced down the empty hallway. 

“Any update?” Shiro asked after a minute.

“Still nothing.” Keith reported. 

“This is really starting to freak me out. What if our intel was wrong?” Hunk asked. Keith and Lance shared a look.

“We should abandon the mission,” Lance said. 

“No, we can’t just give up because something is taking a long time,” Shiro said.

“No, I think he’s right Shiro. On a normal battlecruiser, we have some kind of resistance but we haven’t had anything happen.” Keith said.

“Wait no! I’ve almost got the data, just give me a few more minutes. Even if it was a trap I want to be sure there isn’t anything we need to know in the future!” Pidge interrupted.

“Let Pidge finish up. We’re on our way back to you so just stand guard and wait for the download to be complete.” Shiro finalized. Keith and Lance shared another look before agreeing and the coms went silent. Lance looked at the screen Pidge was standing in front of. The download was at 57%.

Lance began pacing the room, anxiously waiting for the download to complete. It inched along, slowly completing the data transfer. Lance’s nerves were high-strung as he switched between checking the progress and the halls. Once it reached 70%, Shiro opened his coms up again.

“We ran into a few guards! It’ll take us longer to fight our way through! Once you have the information, get out of there!” He told them. 

“Do you guys need help?” Lance asked.

“Yes!” Hunk yelled at the same time Shiro said, “There’s only five, we can handle it!” Pidge snickered. Lance nodded his head but didn’t stop his pacing. Keith seemed to relax a bit, leaning against the door frame with the door closed.

85%. Keith opened the door to check the hallways and was met with a giant Galra towering over him.

“KEITH!” Lance and Pidge screamed as he was thrown across the room. Lance began shooting at him and the sentries that followed him in the room.

“We need to get out of here!” Pidge yelled. Lance backed up to them and saw that they both had their bayards out and activated. Keith was holding his sword in his left hand, holding his right arm closer to his body.

“There’s a door behind you! Go!” Lance yelled. Pidge turned around and opened the door. She and Keith went through the door and waited for Lance to follow but he was still firing at the sentries. He yelped as he felt a blast graze his side where his armor didn’t completely cover him but he shot down the sentry.

“Come on Lance!” Keith yelled. He glanced at them, then at the sentries and went running for the door. 

“Run!” Lance screamed before shooting the biometric scanner, causing the door to slam shut. They screamed and lunged for the door but it had already closed before they got to it. Lance turned back to the sentries, the majority of them shot down by now. The looming Galran laughed.

“I heard of the brave Paladins of Voltron but I never thought they’d be so utterly  _ stupid.”  _ The commander sneered. Lance stayed silent as he finished off the rest of the sentries.

“I didn’t really think they would leave you behind like that but apparently they didn’t care enough for their so-called teammate.” The commander approached Lance, the shots bouncing off his armor. 

“They didn’t leave me behind,” Lance said. The commander laughed again and grabbed Lance’s blaster from his hand, throwing the inactivated Bayard across the room. Lance watched it as it skid away, his stomach dropping. The commander grabbed his neck and lifted him from the ground. Lance scratched at the hands around his throat, fighting to breathe as his airway was closed off. The Galra scoffed and dropped him on the ground.

“Weak.” He kicked Lance, sending him flying towards the other wall. His helmet cracked on contact. He gasped a breath but barely had time before the commander started shooting at him.

Lance was able to dodge the first two shots but got hit right where the armor didn’t cover his abdomen. The blaster wasn’t very strong but it still burned him. Lance clutched his side as he pulled up his shield and crouched behind it. He tried his comms but all he was met with was static.

“It seems you’re a coward too. Cowering behind your shield, refusing to face me?” The commander laughed. “I heard stories of the legendary warriors the paladins of Voltron were but this?” 

Lance winced as his shield shattered, glass ripping into his arm. “This is nothing compared to the tales. You are nothing more than a child who can’t even protect his friends.”

The commander drove his sword through Lance’s leg. Lance screamed as the blade tore through muscles and flesh. Blood began pooling around as the sword was pulled out. The commander lifted him up by his neck again.

“I never expected someone so  _ pathetic. _ ” He drove his sword right through Lance’s armor and into his stomach. Lance gasped, his eyes widening. He was dropped back on the ground as the commander walked to the screen.

Lance covered his stomach with his hand, struggling to stop the blood and pain racing through his body. He gasped for air as tears began running down his face. 

“It’s too bad, really. I hoped I would get the chance to face a true Paladin but it seems that opportunity will never arise.” Lance looked up and watched as the commander slammed down a key.

Immediately a countdown began on the screen. A robotic voice said,

“Self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2-”

“No,” Lance whispered.

“1.”

The room shook, then a wave of heat erupted, drowning out the commanders cackling and Lance’s screams.

Then, darkness.

\---

When Lance opened his eyes again, he expected to be surrounded by light. Maybe seeing his family members who had passed. He figured he would be dead.

What he didn’t expect was to be falling.

It was bright, but it was cold. He didn’t think Heaven would be cold. He thought it would be warm. But after a moment, his vision adjusted and the lights dimmed. He was surrounded by people, but none of them were his family. At least, not by blood.

“LANCE!” Pidge threw herself around Lance’s waist. Lance was kneeling on the ground, leaning against Keith.

“Wha… did you guys die too?” Lance asked. He looked around and saw the rest of the team standing there. “How did Allura and Coran die?”

Shiro chuckled and shook his head. “They didn’t die, Lance. No one did.”

“Wait I’m not dead?” Lance asked. Keith helped him up on shaky legs while Pidge clung to him. Lance put a hand on her head. Hunk let out a half sob half-laugh as he easily scooped up the three of them.

“No you aren’t dead and I can’t TELL YOU HOW GLAD I AM FOR THAT!” Hunk yelled. Keith yelped and tried to fight his way out of the hug but was unsuccessful. Lance hugged his best friend back.

After a few moments, Coran said, “Alright Number 2, I need to do some final checkups on Number 3 so you need to let go of him.” Hunk released the three of them from the hug and Pidge finally let go of Lance.

“Can… can someone explain what happened? Because from what I remember, I really should be dead.” Coran handed Lance a water packet as he sat on a cot. Keith glanced at Pidge, who looked to Hunk, who looked to Allura, who was looking at Shiro as he grimaced and stared at the ground.

“Keith and Pidge tried to unlock the doors but somehow, the commander managed to get the ship on shut down. When me and Hunk met up with them, we heard you fighting him. I don’t know if your comms were broken but we were able to hear… everything.”

Pidge turned away and walked out of the room. Allura looked at Lance and gave him a small smile before following her. Shiro continued.

“I think Pidge must have messed with something while trying to unlock the doors because the self destruct didn’t destroy the entire ship. We managed to get our shields up before the bomb went off. When we finally got to you, you had lost a lot of blood.”

Lance put the pouch of water down as he stared at the faces of his space family. Hunk had tears silently streaming from his eyes. Instead of his usual glare, Keith looked like he was going to be sick. Shiro was staring intently at Lance while Coran was standing stiffly a little further away.

“Did I…?” Lance asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Shiro sighed and closed his eyes.

“You weren’t breathing when we got to you. We had to resuscitate you.” Lance nodded his head and looked at his shaking hands.

“Did anyone else get hurt?” He asked after a moment. 

“Keith had a small concussion but he was only in the pod for a few hours. We all had a few scrapes but nothing to really warrant a trip to the healing pod.” Shiro informed him. Lance looked at Keith sadly.

“Are you alright?” Lance asked. Keith looked at him, his eyes wide. Then he glanced at Shiro and back at Lance.

“Am  _ I  _ alright? Lance, I’m fine. All I got was a bump on my head. You got  _ beat up _ over and over again and then you got  _ stabbed  _ and even after all of that you got blown up! If anyone shouldn’t be alright it’s you!” Keith shouted. Lance blinked and nodded his head.

“Let’s let Lance get some rest,” Coran said. Keith huffed and left the room without another word. Shiro sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m gonna go check on him. Hunk, can you take him to his room?” Shiro asked. Hunk nodded his head and helped Lance off the cot. They began walking through the halls slowly.

“Hunk, how long was I in there?” Lance asked.

“A week and 2 days.” Hunk replied quietly. They got to Lance’s door but before Lance could go in his room Hunk stopped him.

“Hunk?” 

“You should go talk to Pidge before you go to bed. I think she needs to see you’re alright.” Hunk told him seriously. Lance nodded his head.

\---

Once Lance showered and got dressed, he felt more awake. The pod always made him really tired, cold and sore. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment before sighing. He smiled at himself in the mirror but the smile never reached his eyes. He shook his head and left his room.

He wandered the halls, questioning where he might find the green paladin. He stopped by her room and knocked, waiting for a few minutes. When he didn’t get a response, he continued his search. He greeted those he saw as he walked around but never stopped to have a conversation.

Why had Hunk told him to talk to Pidge? Was she okay? Was there something they weren’t telling him? He had been out of commission for a little more than a week. Anything could have happened while he was healing.

He was shaken out of his thoughts when he got to the lion hangars. He heard Blue calling for him and he smiled but headed for Green. He saw Pidge sitting on Green’s paw, her laptop in front of her and a bunch of wires connected to… his armor?

“Pidge?” Lance called, his voice echoing in the large room. The girl looked up and smiled at him. She untangled herself from the mess of wires and cords and walked over to him, giving him a quick hug.

“Lance! You feeling better?” She asked. He nodded.

“Yeah, I’m a little hungry but I’ll eat later. I wanted to check on you first.” Lance said.

“Oh. Well, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” Pidge said curtly. Lance narrowed his eyes and put his hands on his hips.

“Nuh-uh. Nope. I don’t believe you.” He said. She raised an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips.

“What makes you think I’m not fine?” She asked. 

“Hunk told me.” Pidge groaned and turned away from him.

“Damn it Hunk.” 

“Pidge tell me what’s wrong,” Lance said. She sighed and looked at his armor.

“You got hurt. I couldn’t do anything to help you. I'm going to do what I can to help you now.” She stated simply. Lance blinked at her and looked between her and his armor. He knew it had some serious damage, but somehow it looks brand new. The armor took time to repair, he knew that after Pidge and Hunk had tried to repair their armor after the first battle.

“Have you slept at all Pidge?” Lance asked. Pidge’s silence was enough of a response. “Pidge.”

“I’ve updated the shields so they’re more durable and offer more protection. I’m trying to see if I can somehow program the armor to create this flexible barrier almost on the parts where the armor doesn’t cover so you have more than just the undersuit for protection.” Pidge explained quickly. 

“Pidge, you know you need sleep.” 

“I’m also gonna see if I can get the comms to be less of a network thing so if a helmet gets damaged, we’ll still be able to communicate but I haven’t made much progress on that.”

“Pidge please just-”

“Then there’s the whole helmet being damaged thing. Like the armor, I’m making it more sturdy so it’ll be harder to break. And the visor is going to be made of something other than alien glass because honestly, that’s just a safety hazard-”

“KATIE!” Lance shouted. Pidge stopped mid-sentence and stared at him. Only Shiro called her Katie anymore, and that’s usually when he’s having a serious conversation. Lance sighed. “Why haven’t you been taking care of yourself?” Pidge’s eyes began to water and she tried to wipe them away, but more tears replaced them.

“B-because every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was you dying. All I heard was you screaming and crying in pain and all I could think w-was that I should have helped you a-and I-I…” Her voice trailed off as Lance pulled her into a hug. A sob broke loose and she clutched his jacket. “I can’t lose another brother.”

“It’s okay Pidgeon,” Lance whispered while petting her hair. She half laughed, half cried into his stomach at the stupid nickname he gave her during their time in space. He kissed the top of her head and stood in silence as she cried into his stomach. Once her hiccuping had stopped and her tears had stopped running she stepped away from Lance.

“Thanks.” She said, wiping her nose on her sleeve. Lance smiled and nodded his head. 

“Alright kid, I’m seriously hungry and considering your habits, you probably are too, so let’s go get some food and then we can grab the rest of the team and have a cuddle session slash movie night,” Lance suggested. Pidge nodded her head and closed her computer. 

As they walked out of the room, Pidge punched Lance in his arm. He yelped and held it away from her. “Mention any of this and I will shock you with my bayard.”

“PIDGE!”

She cackled as she ran out of the room in front of him. He laughed and ran after her.




Hunk had gotten hurt.

Lance could have stopped it.

The battle wasn’t even that bad. It was nothing more than a little skirmish between Voltron and the Galra. Nothing more than a few sentries and soldiers exploring a planet they were near. They responded to the distress signal quickly and went to assist the people of that planet.

It wasn’t difficult to take down the handful of enemies but one thing they didn’t see was the one soldier who wasn’t down yet. Hunk and Pidge had been high fiving while Lance was climbing down from his position to meet up with them. Shiro was congratulating them over the comms when suddenly he shouted Hunk’s name and Hunk screamed.

It was immediate chaos. Pidge took down the soldier and stayed with Hunk as he threw up and went in and out of consciousness as the rest of the team ran over. Lance was the last one there and by the time he had reached them, Hunk was completely out of it.

Shiro carried him to the castle where Coran and Allura waited with a healing pod ready. They got him in quickly and informed the paladins it wasn’t too severe and he would only be in there for a few days. They said it was a good thing they got there so quickly, otherwise, it could have been a lot worse.

Lance decided he would stay in the med bay until his best friend came back. He left only to change out of his armor and grab a blanket. He sat down in front of Hunk’s pod, staring at the Samoan.

The med bay was empty, everyone had left earlier. Coran said he would stop in multiple times to check on Hunk but Lance barely listened to him as he reassured him he would be fine.

Of course, Hunk would be fine but he wouldn’t have to be in there if Lance had paid more attention. If he had just stayed in his position a little longer. If he had just waited a minute longer, he would have seen the soldier and been able to take him down, no problem.

But he didn’t wait.

He was the sharpshooter. He was supposed to be the one to stop this from happening. He was supposed to be the one who was watching his teammate’s backs. He was supposed to stop everyone from getting hurt. 

Lance wrapped his arms around himself. It’s only been a few hours but he already missed Hunk’s comforting presence. He reminded him of his family. His older siblings would sit with him when his mind went down a dark path and would make sure he didn’t feel alone on the hard days. His parents would love him endlessly despite all of his issues. 

Hunk reminded him of that. Hunk reminded him he wasn’t utterly alone out here in space. Hunk made sure he wasn’t alone.

Lance didn’t realize his eyes were watering until a tear dripped onto his nose. He sniffed and wiped it away. He stood up and walked to the pod, leaning against it.

“Please come back soon buddy. I miss you.” Lance whispered as he stared at the peaceful face of his best friend. 

He would rather see him smile.

But Hunk was hurt.

And it was Lance’s fault.




When Lance woke up that morning, he knew it was going to be a bad day. He was tired, once again unable to sleep. He had fallen into a restless sleep of racing thoughts and half-formed dreams. When he woke up, he was irritated and sore from the intense practice they had the day before.

He skipped breakfast, the thought of eating made him feel sick. He knew he should eat in order to remain healthy but he just couldn’t stand the thought of eating food. He decided to go sit in the lounge instead. They had a free day and were allowed to do whatever they wanted so he got his device and sat down, ready to play a video game.

However, he found he couldn’t focus on it. After zoning out for the third time, he let out a frustrated grunt and threw it on the couch cushion next to him. He went to go find Hunk, hoping he would help him cheer up or distract him but he was bonding with Yellow so he left him alone.

He took to wandering the halls, instead. He was exhausted, but not just from the lack of sleep. It’s the kind of exhaustion when you don’t have the energy to talk to people or to function like a human being. The kind of exhausted when you just can’t force yourself to do much because even the thought of doing anything was tiring. 

Lance decided to go to his room and try to sleep the day away. It wasn’t like anyone was going to notice him gone anyway. Shiro and Keith were probably training. Hunk was bonding with Yellow. Pidge and Allura were going through the recent data they got from a Galran ship they invaded a few days prior. They were all busy. 

He found, despite his previous sleepless night, sleep still evaded him. He couldn’t seem to stop. He couldn’t stop moving, his fingers twitched with the urge to mess with something, his hands clenching and unclenching, his leg bouncing. He couldn’t stop thinking. Thinking he should be doing something, thinking he needed to be out there helping someone, thinking his family must wonder where he was. He couldn’t stop any of it. He couldn’t stop the constant thoughts pressing on his mind. He couldn’t stop the constant fingers tapping. He couldn’t stop-  _ stop stop stop! _

He briefly realized he was struggling to breathe as he shot out of bed. He ran into his bathroom and splashed water on his face. He felt sweaty and cold at the same time. His heart pounded in his chest despite only running a few steps. His chest was tight, not allowing enough air to reach his desperate lungs. His hands shook and suddenly everything was too loud. He was breathing too loud. The air conditioning roared in his mind. The sink running sounded like a waterfall crashing down. His thoughts raced, silence ringing loudly in his mind. It was too  **loud.**

He ran out of his room, trying to escape the screaming silence. He ran down the hall, not caring if anyone saw him. He needed to get away. He needed to go somewhere. But where? He was stuck floating in space. He couldn’t go anywhere. There wasn’t anywhere to escape to. He was trapped on this ship.

He bumped into someone and fell on the ground. He curled in on himself, trying to stop his shaking hands. They were yelling something but he couldn’t understand what. His panic-filled mind only heard noise until he felt someone touch his shoulder. He shot up and dark blue eyes met concerned, sapphire eyes.

“Lance!” Allura called. He sucked in a breath and held onto her wrist like a lifeline. He stared at her for a moment before she let go of his shoulder and straightened up. She looked down the hall, then back at Lance, who felt tears prickling at his eyes as he sat with his back pressed against the wall.

“I’m going to get Coran. Stay here, Lance. Don’t worry, I’ll be back quickly. Just breathe.” She said quickly before darting down the hall. Lance stared after her and whimpered as the silence once again became unbearably loud. He was about to stand up and run after her when she came running around the corner, Coran at her heels. Immediately the older man dropped on his knees next to the boy.

“Lance my boy! Where are you hurt?” Coran asked urgently, checking him for outward injuries. Lance shook his head and grabbed at Coran’s collar. Coran took a second to realize what was happening and took Lance’s hand in his own.

“Coran, is he okay?” Allura asked. Coran nodded, tightening his grip on Lance’s hand.

“Lance, I need you to calm your breathing, alright? Can you breathe with me?” Coran asked. Lance jerkily nodded and Coran began counting breaths. At first, Lance was unable to keep up, his chest still tight. However, after a few minutes, he was able to breathe regularly with a hiccup every once in a while. He realized Allura had taken to running a hand through his short hair while humming what he assumed was an Altean lullaby.

“Thank you,” Lance whispered. Coran smiled and pulled the young paladin into a hug. He rubbed his back as soon as he felt the boy melt into the embrace. Allura joined in after a moment, saying nothing but continuing her humming. The three sat there for a while, enjoying the warm embrace until Lance yawned.

“Are you feeling okay now, Lance?” Allura asked gently. Lance leaned back and smiled at her. Although it was a very weak smile, it was a smile. 

“Yeah, I’m really tired though.” Lance replied quietly. Coran nodded his head and twirled his mustache.

“Well then I guess we must have a movie night in the lounge! I will go collect all the materials and the other paladins if you will take Lance to the lounge, princess?” Coran suggested. Allura nodded and helped Lance off the ground.

“Come, Lance, let’s go get everything ready for everyone. If you want, you can take a nap while we wait for everything to be set up.” Allura said. Lance smiled, a bigger and more real one this time. He nodded his head and linked arms with her.

“Thank you Allura.” Lance murmured. Allura smiled and patted his hand.

“Anytime Lance.”

A few days after that, Lance stopped the princess and asked her to teach him Altean songs. She agreed enthusiastically and made it a habit to have spa nights at least once a week where they would trade music from each of their cultures. Often times, Coran and the other paladins would walk by and hear them rather loudly sing an Altean lullaby or a song from the early 2000s. No one ever commented on it. Everyone silently agreed they both needed it.




Lance regretted ever letting Keith talk him into training in hand to hand with him. He was tired, sore, sweaty and Keith showed no sign of stopping. The dude has barely broken a sweat and he wasn’t even out of breath!

Lance ducked as Keith threw another punch at his face and tried to kick his legs out from under him. Keith grabbed his leg and used the momentum to throw him to the ground. Lance landed on his back with a gasp, all of his air pushed out of his lungs. Keith smiled and rested his hands on his knees.

“Alright, let’s get some water and catch our breath,” Keith said. Lance coughed and nodded his head. He took Keith’s extended hand and stood up. They walked over to the wall where their bayards, armor and water pouches sat. Lance gracefully flopped on the ground and drank his water. Keith snorted and rolled his eyes, leaning against the wall near him.

“Keith, don’t take this the wrong way,” Lance started after draining half of his pouch. “But what even  _ are _ you?”

Keith laughed in response and finished the rest of his pouch. Lance sighed and finished the rest of his pouch, joining him to walk laps around the training room.

“I’m half-human, half-Galra. Remember?” Keith replied. Lance gasped and shook his head.

“How dare you make a joke. That’s my thing. Anyway, your Galra genes must be insane because you’ve barely broken a sweat and we’ve been at this for like,” Lance looks down at his empty wrist. “Four hours.” Keith chuckled.

“First of all, you don’t have a watch. Second of all, we’ve been training for barely an hour. I think we can keep doing hand to hand for about half an hour and then we can practice with our bayards.” Keith suggested. Lance groaned and stretched his beyond sore arms above his head.

“Are you trying to kill me?”

“No Lance, I’m trying to help you be a better fighter. Now c’mon. Get in your stance.” Keith said while rolling his eyes. Lance huffed again but followed Keith to the middle of the room. He and Keith circled each other, both staring at the other waiting to see who would start.

Keith lunged at Lance first, taking him by surprise and knocking him off his feet. Lance landed with a grunt and shoved Keith off of him before jumping back up again.

“Come on Lance!” Keith called. Lance narrowed his eyes and went to punch Keith in the ribs. Keith easily deflected the punch and returned it with a jab of his own. “You can do better than this!”

“Not when we’ve been at it for an hour!” Lance angrily grunted as he avoided a kick. Lance lunged for Keith, planning to hit him in the stomach with his shoulder and throw him to the ground and pin him but Keith easily threw him off. Lance rolled away but got back up, avoiding Keith’s kick to the face. Lance grabbed his foot and used the move that was used on him earlier and threw Keith away from him.

“Lance you can do better!” Keith yelled as he got back up. Lance glared as he stood, his fight gone.

“Keith, stop,” Lance said. Keith walked up to him and shoved him in the shoulders.

“No! I know you can do better than this! Come on! Show me you can be better!”

“Keith, stop!”

“Lance, fight! You can’t drag us down! You have to keep fighting!” Keith yells. Lance growls and punches Keith in the arm. Keith takes that as Lance’s way to continue the fight and begins throwing punches and kicks at Lance, who tries to block them but is mostly just absorbing them.

“Lance you have to beat me! I’m not going to stop until you beat me!” Keith yelled trying to rile him up. He kicked lance square in the ribs, sending the lanky boy flying backward with a yell. “LANCE!”

Keith ran over to him where he landed on the floor with a groan. Keith crashed to his knees next to Lance and tried to get him to uncurl.

“Shit! I’m really sorry man! I thought you were gonna block that!” Keith exclaimed. He stopped when he saw Lance’s shoulders shaking and hiccuping sobs broke the silence. “Did I hurt you? Do I need to grab Coran? LANCE TALK TO ME!”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t. I know I’m not good enough. I’m sorry…” Lance whispered between his hiccuping breaths. Keith gasped and grabbed his shoulder. He gently put a hand on Lance’s cheek and turned his head towards him. Lance’s eyes were shut.

“Lance, look at me.” Lance hesitantly looked into Keith’s eyes. “You did well. I was pushing you too much. I’m the one that's sorry.” Lance shuddered as another sob broke free. Keith let go of his face and pulled him into a hug. Lance hid his face in Keith’s chest as he cried. Only once his tears stopped and his breath hitched only every few minutes did Keith let go.

“You okay?” Keith asked quietly. Lance nodded his head. “I’m really sorry again.”

“Why?” Lance asked.

“I knew you were having a bad day. I shouldn’t have pushed you while you were already having a rough time.” Keith stated. Lance stared at him for a moment before he narrowed his eyes.

“How did you know I was having a bad day?” Keith shrugged.

“Hunk was making your favorite food and Shiro told me you didn’t sleep much last night. I put two and two together and figured you weren’t having a good day.” Lance snorted and then burst into laughter as Keith stared at him.

“Then what made you think sparring would be a good idea? I mean no offense man but that’s a really stupid conclusion to come to.” Lance said with a smile. Keith smiled back at him and leaned against his hand behind him.

“I mean, usually when I spar or run or something my mind goes blank. I figured you could use that. Plus, you like spending time with people and doing stuff they like with them whenever you’re down. It makes you feel better. I figured you’d want someone to hang out with and thought we could practice or something.” Lance stared at him as if he had just grown another nose. “What?”

“You mean you didn’t ask me to come here just so you could beat me up?” Lance asked. Keith snorted and shook his head.

“No, man. I asked you here because I wanted to spend time with you.” Keith said. Lance nodded his head and stood up.

“Alright, well because I let you throw me around for a solid five hours-”

“It’s only been like an hour and a half.”

“You get to come with me and help me wash my beautiful girl and then we can do facemasks because  _ your pores man  _ they must be  _ suffering _ . And then once we’ve done that we can do your hair and go see what Hunk cooked up for me cause I’m honestly curious.” Lance said. He pulled Keith up and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Keith rolled his eyes.

“Why do I have to come with you?” 

“Because you insisted on cheering me up. Come on buddy, you aren’t getting out of this one.” Keith crossed his arms but despite his stuff posture, he smiled at Lance.

“Fine, but you don’t get to braid my hair.”

“Alright, I’m fine with that.”

They exited the training room, Lance’s arm still around Keith’s shoulder. Keith uncrossed his arms and let them hang at his side, relaxing his shoulders. Lance looked at him with a smirk.

“Now I’m cradling you in my arms.”

“I think you deserve to get punched again for that.”

“NO KEITH!” Lance shrieked as Keith chased after him. Their laughter bounced through the hallways as they ran to the Lion Hangars.

**+1**

It was silent. Nothing but the sound of distant waves breaking and gentle waves brushing against his feet. Lance stared at the blue waters, mesmerized at the powerful gentleness of the ocean. He sat down and squished the warm sand between his toes. He dug his hands in the sand and lifted a fistful of it up. He grinned as the handful of sand ran through his fingers.

“Lance.” A voice echoed around him. Lance turned around and saw a beautiful lioness sitting in the shade of a large tree at the edge of the beach. Lance sighed and stood up, brushing the loose sand from his body.

“Hey Blue,” he greeted. The lioness stood up and stretched. She approached the young man as he turned back to the beach. She stopped next to him, staring at the ocean in front of the pair. When Lance glanced over at her, she was no longer a lioness.

She was a tall young woman. She stood at least a head taller than him. Her bright blue eyes seemed to glow as they met his with amusement glittering her eyes. Long black hair fanned out around her as the ocean breeze surrounded the pair. A long dark blue dress trailed in the sand after her, but left no mark. Her feet were bare, leaving no indent in the warm sand. He grinned up at her as she stopped next to him.

“You’re just as beautiful as a human as you are a lion,” Lance complimented her. She smiled at him, her artic eyes full of warmth and love.

“Thank you, Lance.” She said quietly. Her voice seemed to echo around them, the sound carried by the wind and the waves. 

“You know, I’m glad you got to see this place for yourself. Especially with this weather where the waves aren’t too harsh and the wind isn’t going crazy. It’s warm, but not too hot to where you have to stay in the water so you don’t burn your feet. It’s not too cold where you can’t bear to stand out here for more than a minute before hightailing it outta here. It’s honestly the perfect weather. I’m glad you get to see the ocean like this.” Lance said quickly. Blue sighed and put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Lance, you do understand why we are here, do you not?” Blue asked gently. Lance smiled and took her hand in his.

“Yeah,” he whispered. Blue enveloped his hands in her own, tears glistening in her sharp blue eyes. 

“Lance… my dear Paladin… why did you do it?” She pleaded. He gave her a small smile and squeezed her hand.

“They were in danger. I couldn’t let my team die. I had to save them. This was the only way I knew how. Besides, it’s easier to replace one paladin than replace four.” Lance replied simply. Blue sniffed and shook her head.

“You won’t ever be replaced. Ever. There will never be another Blue Paladin as brave and wonderful as you, Lance.” Lance pulled his hand out of hers and wiped her tears on her cheek. “I don’t want a new Paladin. You were… are like a child to me.”

“It’s gonna be okay Blue. I’m okay with everything that happened.” Blue opened her mouth to interrupt him but he shook his head and continued. “I’m lucky I was chosen to be your Paladin. I wouldn’t change anything that’s happened to me so far. I don’t regret any of it. Because of my sacrifice, the others will continue to live and fight. And as long as no one forgets me, I will continue living on.”

“Oh, my dear Lance…” She pulled him into a tight hug and Lance felt a few tears fall free from his eyes. He could feel a wet spot growing on his own shoulder but he chose to ignore it and enjoyed the familiar warmth enveloping him.

“I’m gonna miss you Blue,” Lance whispered. Blue sniffed again.

“I’ll miss you too.”

The duo stood in silence, the water brushing their feet but neither of them mind. Occasionally, one of them will squeeze the other tighter and they will reciprocate. When they let go of each other, they still remain silent and take to watching the ocean once more. After a while, Lance speaks up.

“Blue?” Blue hums questioningly. “What about the team?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, how are they all gonna act? Are they going to be able to form Voltron? Are they going to fall apart because I’m gone? What if I just caused more problems instead of fixed them?” Lance fired question after question. Blue put a hand on his shoulder and grounded him.

“Lance, they’re going to be alright.” She said firmly. 

“How do you know?” Blue searched Lance’s eyes for a moment before sighing and looking into the water.

“I can show you their future, if you like.” She whispers. Lance nods his head and looked into the water at their feet. An image appears, showing the rest of the team gathered around a cot with his bloody body lying in it. Hunk was holding Pidge, who was crying into his stomach. Keith was holding Lance’s hand and Shiro had a hand on his shoulder. Coran was hugging Allura as he stared at Lance’s body. 

As another wave came in, another image appeared. Voltron was formed and taking down a Galra cruiser with ease. He could almost hear his teammates’ cheers as they worked together to destroy the enemy ship. He smiled with pride.

The image washed away and brought a new one to shore. The lions stood proudly in a circle around the Paladins. Shiro had completely white hair, but he was smiling. Keith had a new scar on his cheek and he looked older but didn’t seem bothered by it as he hugged the older man.

Lance saw his family, hurt, but alive. Wave after wave. He saw their lives play out. He saw what their futures held. 

And finally, the last wave came and now they were on what looked like Earth. They were smiling happily at a large statue in front of them. It was a statue of Lance.

Juniberries were growing all around his statue. Shiro was hand in hand with another man. Pidge was older and clearly taller, standing surrounded by her family. Keith was with a Galran woman who looked similar to him. Allura and Coran had their arms linked as they placed a bouquet of flowers in front of his statue. Hunk was with his two mom’s and Lance’s large family, all smiling proudly at him.

They were happy.

As the image washes away, Lance looks up and Blue. She opens her eyes and smiles at him.

“They’re going to be okay Lance.” She promises. He nods his head and smiles back at her.

“Thank you, Blue.” Blue nods her head. A cough from behind them draws their attention back to where Blue came from. A man wearing a simple white tunic and pants with a deep red cloak approached them. Blue smiled at him and nodded her head out of respect. He returned the gesture and grimaced as the damp sand met his foot. He stepped back into the dry sand.

“Hello old friend.” Blue greeted.

“It has been quite a while since we met in these forms, hasn’t it?” Red asked. Blue smiled and nodded her head. “I see you still dress very… extravagantly.”

“And I see you still do not,” Blue replied. Red shrugged and smiled back at her before turning to Lance.

“Hello Lance.”

“Red.” Lance greeted, his voice barely above a whisper. Red smirked and turned back to Blue. Their smiles fade as they had a conversation with their eyes. Lance sighed and turned away from them.

“It’s time for you to leave, isn’t it Blue?” Lance asked. Blue sighed.

“So it seems.” 

“That’s alright. I’m sure you’ll find a way to return.” Lance said with a shrug. 

“I’m sure she will.” Red agreed before turning back towards where they came from. He stopped and turned back towards Lance before fully leaving. “It was an honor to meet you, Blue Paladin. I’m sorry you had to go in such circumstances.” Lance turned around and smiled.

“Thanks, Red. I appreciate it. Keep Keith safe and don’t let him make stupid decisions.” Lance said. Red smiled and nodded his head before disappearing. Lance turned back to Blue.

“I don’t want to leave.”

“But you have to go back. You need a new Paladin. Voltron can’t form without you.” Lance insisted. Blue let out a shaky breath and nodded her head.

“I will return,” Blue promises. Lance smiles and gives her a hug.

“I know you will.” He responded. He let go and Blue walked towards the place Red had left. “Hey, Blue?” She turns around.

“Yes?”

“Can you do me a favor? Well, two favors.” Blue smiled.

“Of course. What is it that you need?”

“First, can you make Allura the Blue Paladin?” Lance asked. Blue’s eyes widened but Lance continued before she could say anything. “She always talked about following her father’s footsteps in being the Red Paladin and I know it isn’t the same thing but I think it would mean a lot for her. Plus I think you guys would get along really well.”

Blue smiled warmly at him.

“Of course. I would be proud to have Princess Allura as my pilot.” Blue said. Lance nodded his head and smiled at her.

“Alright and the other thing is I want you to deliver a message to the others,” Lance said. Blue nodded.

“I can do that.” She agreed. Lance took a deep breath. “I will tell them exactly what you said so just act like your talking to them.” Lance nodded and began.

“Alright,” He took a deep breath. “I want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left you all like this. But you need to keep going. You need to keep pushing forward because this war has an end and you are going to bring it about. Don’t just give up cause I’m not there, cause you all deserve to be happy. I want you all to live your lives and you can’t do that when you’re in mourning so I need you to move on. I love all of you. You were like a new family to me. I honestly called you all my space family in my head and I hope you guys remember you aren't alone out there.”

“I hope you all remind each other what you mean to each other cause sometimes you just need to be reminded that you’re loved. Shiro, I hope you find your happy ending. I think we can all agree that you deserve it. I hope you take care of yourself, Pidge. Just cause I’m not there to remind you to sleep doesn’t mean you don’t have to. I hope you find who you are, Keith. I know sometimes it’s hard not knowing where you come from and it’s scary not understanding yourself, so I hope you can find who you are. I hope you continue loving, Hunk. Man, you’ve got the biggest heart and I don’t want to see all that love fade to nothing. There are people who need you so I need you to keep loving everyone. I hope you find your new family, Allura. You’ve lost a lot to this war and I think you should get a second chance at a normal life. I hope you never change who you are, Coran. You are crazy, but you told the best stories and always knew what to do and how to help.”

“You all deserve to be happy considering everything we’ve dealt with. So keep smiling, keep fighting, keep living. And when the time comes for your story to end, when you’ve done everything you needed and when you are all happy and old, you won’t move on alone. I promise.” Lance finished. Blue smiled and gave him a quick, final hug. He watched her walk away from the beach. As she disappeared from view, he turned back around and smiled at the expansive waves.

“I’ll be here waiting.”

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is! If this made you super sad... it made me sad too so it’s ok. Also I’m sorry. But let me know about your opinions and stuff!


End file.
